Student Struggles: it’s okay to miss people

As a student, loneliness can be an issue that we face, especially in these particularly uncertain times. It's perfectly fine to miss home. Here is my personal experience about struggling with being away from London

Imagine yourself at a party, filled with your closest family and friends. It’s a cheery atmosphere, laughter is practically ricocheting off the walls. You’re due to leave home for the first time and everyone in that room keeps saying, “You’re going to have a blast” and “They’ll be the best years of your life”. You stare off, gulping internally, preferring to think about the two weeks you’ve got left, yet you know this party is a goodbye to most of the people attending. The occasion is happy but also incredibly depressing.

My friends, my boyfriend and I at my "leaving for uni" party mentioned above

That was me, just over a year ago, preparing for my first year at uni. As a family-orientated person, it was hard to leave home and take that step, especially when the move seemed so far away. My original choices of Cardiff and Sheffield would have destroyed my fragile emotions, when even Cheltenham seemed so distant from London.

It’s a common feeling to be anxious about leaving the place you’re familiar with, and it’s so important that you look after your mental well-being at a stressful time like that. It’s vital to focus on the fact that university offers you a fresh taste of freedom and independence. For someone like me, who missed my mum on a five-day trip to Disneyland when I was 18, it felt so different, particularly as I don’t radiate confidence. So, I cried every night for a week, staining my face with dripping mascara and looking like, not the cliched panda people compare running eye make-up to, but rather just someone who looked like they missed home.

The reason behind my emotions was not just missing my parents, though they were a huge part of it, but also the fact that I’d left behind my boyfriend of two and a half years. We’re both 19 and at university, but unlike me, he stayed at home, which I sometimes regret not doing myself.

88 miles. That’s how far apart London is from Cheltenham. How far apart I am to my boyfriend. I don’t know if that’s the traditional definition of a ‘long distance relationship’ but when you aren’t in the same county as a person you want to spend every waking hour with, it feels like the other side of the world, and in some stress induced times, you worry just how long it will be until you see them again.

Whilst it seems like a struggle, I am privileged to live in the era of video calling. Although I cannot see him in person, virtual communication is a great alternative. A chat every night where I can still see his face, though not the same, is sufficient.

Now in my second year, I still miss him. I miss everyone and sometimes sitting in my room alone, I’m struck with a painful emptiness. Yet university is something I needed to do for myself and my future, plus I have plenty of friends at uni and everyone else is just a phone call away. I would encourage everyone to do it. There will be tough times if you’re like me and 46% of students do feel lonely when they are university, but the closest people will still be there and all they will want is to see you do well, and knowing you have support is enough to see you through even the scariest of experiences.

The new friends I made at uni: just because you miss your old ones, doesn't mean you shouldn't make new ones

If you struggle with loneliness on a much bigger level, make sure you seek mental health support if you feel you need it. See here for some tips on loneliness: https://www.ucas.com/connect/blogs/feeling-lonely-university-more-common-you-think